I think I may have mentioned before, I love women. SO many things about you are SO wonderful...but I won't tangent. And rather than lump all women into one mold, today I will be referring to my lovely bride. And to her credit, I have found the following trait to be fairly common, but not exclusive, to the female species.
Today I would like to talk about an age old struggle, that great barrier between us, the Great Wall Of China that separates the female psyche from the male's...
Listening, instead of FIXING.
This has often been a thing. She will come to me with a story about an ill-tempered child, a bad day at work, a story about an infuriating family member told for the 247th time. And I will sit, and listen as a good husband should. (By the way, I am using the official title of a "good husband" here, but I am clearly still in training.)
And then I will offer a suggestion. Or ask if she had tried something in particular. Or probe more into her process, in an effort to sneak up on a solution.
And that is when the fireworks start.
I am judging, second-guessing, judge and jury at the end of a hard day, clearly not on her side, making her feel weak, inadequate, silly, stupid.
You see, along with boybits, we males have another subtle difference from you beauties...even we softer males have an undying urge to...Fix. And you don't want that...you want us to LISTEN. I get that. And I do listen, I swear to you I do. But as soon as you are finished recounting the events, isn't it natural to want to avoid a recurrence in the future? To try something else that you may not have thought of before? To use the experience of another? Isn't that an advantage of sharing your life with someone, to have a built-in library of resources to aid each other in navigating life?
I could use your help friends...can you tell me where I am off here? I really want to...well...fix this.
ps- Tomorrow is the Weekly Pessimistic Prize again...I look forward to hearing your stories of weekend terror.
Into the Gray
4 hours ago